All I Can Think Is T...MUTHAF*KIN..M.I.

Having sinus issues and feeling sick and all I can think of is 'I have to deliver a baby'....75% effaced, 2 cm dilated and the induction is scheduled for Wednesday morning at 5:30am

And You're Somebody's Mom

Been wasted since Friday...i'm feelin a lil woosy. On my way 2 mama's 4 lasagna b4 I go back 2 da burg.

Ouch

Good morning fb. Just pulled a muscle in my shoulder but not letting it stop me today. Getting kids ready for school

Laern to spell firts pleaes

A do anybody knwo hwo to drpo out but stay in skolo. Jus a Tohugt. Money gto me thnkin......

Thanks for sharing -- and misspelling!

(via Twitter): over here eattin animal crackers like im 4 lol

The answers you seek are on Facebook

In class trying to thing wat the hell is on my quiz my mind is in a blank

MrMarthaStewart

...in da kitchen ova da stove, not cookin krack or anything like dat, but i'm 4real trying to cook a meal, chicken...should I bake or grill, imma bake it real light...honestly, i need sum help....SIKE! mrgetyownstoveigotdis!

MrPresident

...I update my statuses for fanz and fun, jus kall me a facebook bum, on it from moon 2 son, if u think I don't, "YOU LIE", like Joe Wilson!!!! ~mrgetmypolitcson!

MrBedtimeStory

ZZZzzz...mrsleeperz

MrIntergalactic

...I don't mind give props, kudos, if he's on mars, guess I'm chillin on pluto...~mrnotkaptainplanet! Lol

MrPrioritiesStraight

...mayne, I luv this city of memphis, 4get da krime, da killings, BUT THE WOMEN? I JUS SAW 3 MILFS IN THE GYM LIKE OMGIZZLE!!! ~MRKOUGARHUNTA! Lol

MrLookinForLove

...if I kould draw my life, it'll b a "single" sketch, bkuz I'm "single", yes, neva won a "single" kontest, but I luv chicken, so give me a leg and 1 "single" breast, from my leg 2 my head, not 1" stress!! ~mrsearchin4peacehaveuseenhim?

How "GREAT" was it?!

Enjoy the Movies, and lunch with my ex girlfriend!.... Tyler Perry New Movie was ''GREAT'' she cried!! aawwhhhh!!!!

Compliment fishing much?

I FEEL LIKE MY PROFILE PIC!... UGLY RIGHT NOW!.. :(

Couldn't agree more

At home chillin and aint thinking bout nobody!... ''LIKE I DONT HAVE A CARE IN THE WORLD'' ANYWAY, WHO CARES ABOUT WHAT I THINK!... goodnite FB!...

I feel so special!

Rise n Shine, LADIES' OH!.... DO I HAVE A TREAT FOR U!... someone sent me a message this morning saying ''WHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR ME TO GET U TO DELETE UR PAGE?'' i said hmmmmm?... and thought about it!.... and i thought!....... and thought!.. and i said ''SHIT!....NOTHING CUZ THESE ARE MY FRIENDS FROM CHILDHOOD AND SO ON''...... SO JUST KNOW THAT ALL OF U ALL R SPECIAL TO ME DAMN IT!! have a beautiful day!..... :)

What a cute couple!

________________ Is Having sex with my Xbox 360, i touch her all the time, she plays with me, i play with her back, she keeps me stimulated, we go at it all night, sometimes i wake up to do her, she never lets me rest, she even lets my friend touch her!.... she alwa...ys lets us win, she never gets tired of me? she keeps going, and going, and going!.... wow!... JUMP IN!....

I don't thikn I cna...

Can u say ''TALL, DARK AND HANSOM'' without mentioning ME?... LOL!.... LETS GET IT!!

I'm SO there!

Hey!... IM HAVING A PARTY, FREE DRINKS ON ME, ALL U CAN DRINK, FOOD FREE, AND ALL THAT, MUSIC BY DEVIN THA DUDE, SPECIAL GUESS, U DONT WANT TO MISS IT!! RON' WILL BE IN THE HOUSE!! THE PLACE?....... McDONALDS, DOWN THE STREET FROM BUD DAVIS CAD...ILLAC, AGAIN, FREE SANWICHES FOR EEEERBODY!... AGAIN, SPECIAL GUESS ''RONALD McDONALD!! WE,LL HAVE WEMAN IN BIKINI,S DOING THE BUTTER FLY!!

I still have the energy to update my status though

Man!... I HAVNT SLEPT SINCE THURSDAY NIGHT!.... JUST GETTING OFF WORK, my body cant take it anymore, physically drained!... CANT MAKE IT HOME!!.... TIRED AS HELL, IM PULLING OVER ON I55 to take a qick nap!... EXCUSE ME PEOPLE, BUT IM DRAINED, BARELY CAN KEEP MY OPEN!!... TTYL FB!! zzzzzzzzzzz

Where dem 649.$ at?!

Just woke up!... My damn was so drunk lastnite his ass ran the CHARGER on the curve, and got all flats!.... hes paying for it now!... 649.$ on tires!.... YA SEE WHY I DONT DRINK?.... anyway RISE N SHINE its FOOTBALL TIME!!...

DAMN IT! What a classic!

Watching the end of COLOR PURPLE!! MAN THAT SHYT IS JUST SO SAD AT THE END!....... DONT IT JUST DO SOMETHING TO UR HEART?... thats a real Classic for all BLACK FOLKS!.... DAMN IT!!

That Takes Balls

(via a business Twitter account, we'll call them MD...) @MD Big layoffs at MD so if u need Social Media Expert lmk -Stupid Fool. Add me! {removed link of his Linked In page!}

You May Wanna Get That Checked

From Twitter: @(nut) Your heart has a rhythm....what sound does yours beat? Mine beats jazz and funk and soul. Hip hop and blues. For the old and the new....

I know, right!

OMG... THESE HOES IS ALWAYS ASKING ABOUT {MY KIDS}.... LOL... JUST BCUZ YALL FUCK WITH THEY DADDY(YALL NOT THE ONLY BITCH).. YOU & HIM WILLLLLLL NEVER SEEEEE THEY ASSSSS 4REAL..... WTF IS REALLY GOING ON..... STOP ASKING ABOUT MINE.....

I didn't know you were dating Mr. Talley!

_______________ is in ALT until Tuesday.

Were That Many Exclamation Marks Really Needed?

___________is so excited. Making homemade pickles with my grandma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YUM!

Bob the Builder

i went to home depot and bought 5 50 lbs. bags of concrete to build the foundation upon which i stand

Should I call PETA?!

Listening to Coltrane and drinking coffee with a splash of koala. This is nice.

Teacher of the year

I hate my 2nd block class they are a bunch of lame children that want to be cool

Nice to see you, too

Hi friends! :(

pleasedontmakemereadyourbookimsureitsux

iwishbeingurselfwasstillinstylethenwewouldallbonthasamepage:( till then im my own book just living 1 volume at a time.

Mr. PollSTAR

"mayne", "gucci", "4sho", "uknowatumsayn", now err' 1 give me they best Memphis impression! Haters r allowed!

~mrgottabfriendly2haters! Lol

How clever!

i called God and the line was busy...if you or someone u know is talking to him right now...let him know i apreciate the blessings he sent me and i'll call him back later....

MrDeLorean

...u kan find me in Memphis like Ivo, and the jerry kurl nuvo!! ~mruse2haveakurlbackndaday!

SHAMELESS PROMOTION

I'LL EAT YO PUSSY BITCH IF YOU COME TO OUR PARTY !!

I said the same thing!

_____________ says your a mom and pop and she's a corporation..can you handle that...its good to live expensive but my knees get weak you kiss it, that's money honey..

The mature approach

to get a person attention delete their name so when they call or text you say "Who is this" this lets them know you don't need them or their friendship anymore...lifes to short to waste on someone that's not growing in life and do...n't allow them to keep you in standby mode..ctrl,alt,del...

Deeeeeeep

its not that fabric that makes the man, its his tailor..its not the shoes that make the woman its the sole..

Time to put away those shorrtts

looks like the first day of fall, I better wear the hoddie.

Whew, thank God I made the cut!

____________ just woke up feeling good about today!.... goodmorning friends, i deleted alot of people from here yesterday!... so if u can see this status, that means ''UR STILL ON THE TEAM OF FRIENDS'' have a beautiful day everybody!.... smile :)

"SORRY" "DAMN" "!"

Man!..... i just woke up! I WAS SLEEPING GOOD AS HELL TOO!..... ''DAMN'' om off today so ima lay my ass in bed all damn day!.... ''SORRY FOLKS AT WORK'' lol

Today I'll...

I guess im about to get up and do something around the house, since my friends dont want me to enjoy my day!! ''IM BOUT TO SHYT, SHAVE, AND BATH DAMN IT!!

MrWorkOutPlan

...yes, i'm gettin old, feeling sleeping and sow', worked out, walked out, and my bones felt like they froze, who knows, would u risk a lil pain, to gain a kouple more damez looking at ur frame? ~ mrnuffsaidgohitdagymgirlzlikeit! lol

Rite....

______________Srry my fb fam ive been busy, wit the new job & all but im off 2 day & monday..... Thank god... well im hme chillin lookin @ movies & eatin a sub kidz runnin wild 4 their last few dayz... Itz so funny how they layin out clothes & tryin them on lke i use 2 do. My boyz doin the same thing i use 2 do , let everybody wear all their new stuff out. Then cum wit their new stuff,but they feet stay RITE..

Hard At Work

About to get in a nap before folx start trickling into the office. Shame! Lol

Congratulations?

______________Just to give everyone a little update...I'm 4 mos. pregnant and just started selling cars at ***** ***** Lexus in **** *****. So if anyone is looking for a new Lexus or any used car...I'm your girl!! Call me ***-***-****.

Really though?

_________________ would love to wrap Trey Songz in a tortilla with a side of pico de gallo and get busy sauce. Only men who look and sing like that have the right to dogg women out...you other chumps need to take notez.....